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[zac xing cai]

waking up and seeing the blood splattered walls surrounding her, sun shi tried to recall what had happened.
being a relation of sun jian  the powerful warlord of wu, sun and her family were always targets ofassasination attempts. but for once the assasins had suceeded.
bodies lay stiff and the tinge of rotting flesh fille the air, where was her mother! that was the thought that filledher head.
she gahered herself and eventualy got to her feet then bgan her search.
upon discovering her mothers body and feeling for a pulse she broke into tears.
now she wanted revenge

story will start later on than this, this is just a brief lead up events

[King of Ba Shu]

you should invest in spell check if you plan on writing a short story...

[zac xing cai]

haha very funny < sarcasm

[ShuFan]

I am almost certain it wasn't a joke Zac.

I'm going to be honest with you, and you may not like it. If you don't take greater care in how you write, or type, then you won't get very far in what you're doing if it involves either of these. You're young, and I know that, but people are going to lose interest fast if the quality of you're writing is as poor as it has been for as long as I've known you. I can tell that you used some sort of spell checker or proof read it etc. for that post, apart from the very last line as the difference is very noticable, but there are still obvious mistakes, like capitals for the start of sentences and for names. The addition of mostly well placed full stops and commas improved the readabilty of that piece of writing dramatically.

This goes for the Role-Play too. People have been, and will be, losing their patience with you if your posts are so hard to read. Your excuse of your keyboard keys sticking or whatever doesn't really fly, because it only takes about 30 seconds to amend each medium sized post, and I find it hard to believe that you don't have that kind of time.

I'm not telling you this to be mean, I'm telling you this to help you with your writing and your typing. I really do hope you take this constructive critisism to heart(it took me along time to type it all out, with my own mistakes).

[zac xing cai]

i do see what you meen shu fan and with people telling me to do so seems as i dont have spell checker or proof reader i have to do it myself but  i will take the time from now one (unless im on ipod which is impossible to do  ) thank you and i was being sarcastic shu fan on  last post

[Metalman24]

It can be done on Ipod, I check this more on my Ipod then my computer simply for the spellcheck. It's easy to use it to check this forum,I'm doing it now, and would solve most of your spelling problems. Just a suggestion for you.

[zac xing cai]

ty